I was excited to see my sister for her birthday and Mother's Day. Of course, we had a great weekend, but it's never easy to say goodbye. Pulling out of the driveway as I watch my sister waving goodbye. I started feeling emotional because I had to depart from her presence. She, in return, experienced the same emotion once she was in the house. We both felt the impact of missing our mother and sister played a part in our feelings. It was hard leaving my sister.
Well, God, what now? I asked as I drove to my destination. Is this what you feel on the "Backside of Happy"? Thought carefully about why God has chosen this particular path for this season. Although I have some insight spiritually and naturally into the benefits, it's still not as clear. I am not interested in living in a new place by myself. However, that is not a complaint against God's orchestrated destiny for my life. I am on the "Backside of Happy," trying to figure out how to return to the front.
Perhaps the "Front of Happy" is less valuable than I imagined. I believe the "Back" produces trust you don't experience in the "Front." It has created a stronger bond between God and me. The experience of his demonstrated power was incredible on the backside. Even Moses experienced the backside of God. In Exodus 33: 18, Moses requests to see his glory. God allowed Moses to see his backside, but not his front. Moses experienced all the goodness of God as a result of his request.
So, it is safe to say that maybe I misjudge the front side to be more valuable. I learned not to return to the front but rest in all of his goodness (the backside of God).
I am feeling safe.